Today is the feast day of Martyrs Sts. Perpetua and Felicity!  These two Saints were persecuted and died because of their faith and love of Jesus. And last month, I had the honor of painting a mixed media painting for The Happy Catholic Box.

As you may have already read on my website, I have had a long, and often times, stubborn dialog with Jesus when it comes to painting The Saints. I feel like my artwork has always had a faith based tone to it, but I was never all in with my art…meaning that I didn’t really surrender this part of myself to God. Honestly, I kept it for myself because I really didn’t think I was good enough or worthy of painting a Saint. I guess I felt like God didn’t want that part of me. Truth is, I’m not worthy or good enough and this is a good thing, He has to do the work for me! So, needless to say, this has been a long process of surrender and allowing God’s love to ” convince” me he can handle it.  Oh how He pursues us! Thank you Jesus!

Admittedly, I knew very little about St. Perpetua and Felicity when I began the process of the painting. I rarely know which Saint will come through in my paintings until the end, so setting out to paint a particular Saint is rare for me. Getting to know these two Saints before and during the painting was exciting because this intimacy always comes after I have completed a painting and God has revealed which Saint was brought out through the painting.

First thing that I uncovered in my research was that they were from Africa, therefore, they had dark skin…and although many artists portray them as white, they are black. “Ok God, I’ve never painted a black person…how do you think I will do that?” May seem simple to many, but to me, this is unchartered territory. If you are an artist, you know that skin tones have a lot of colors in them and if you don’t add the right colors or enough colors, you can get flat, one dimensional results. Once again, He keeps me needing Him.

Next thing I learned about these beautiful women was that they were imprisoned together, along with 3 others, for refusing to renounce their Christian faith.   St. Perpetua had to leave her baby for a period of time until she was finally granted permission to have her infant stay with her in the prison. In her diary, she writes…“What a day of horror! Terrible heat, owing to the crowds! Rough treatment by the soldiers! To crown all, I was tormented with anxiety for my baby…. Such anxieties I suffered for many days, but I obtained leave for my baby to remain in the prison with me, and being relieved of my trouble and anxiety for him, I at once recovered my health, and my prison became a palace to me and I would rather have been there than anywhere else.”

St. Felicity was 8 months pregnant and set to be executed along side St Perpetua, but at the time, it was illegal to shed the innocent blood of an unborn baby. St. Felicity prayed that she would give birth before the set date of the execution so that she could die alongside Perpetua, rather than dying alone. It is written “The guards made fun of her, insulting her by saying, “If you think you suffer now, how will you stand it when you face the wild beasts?” Felicity answered them calmly, “Now I’m the one who is suffering, but in the arena Another will be in me suffering for me because I will be suffering for him.” Two days before the execution, she gave birth to a healthy baby girl who was adopted by a Christian woman.

So parents, imagine for a moment, that you had to choose between God and your faith or your innocent child. Both these Saints knew and trusted God enough to leave their children and die for Him. This is suffering from the deepest place, this is how The Blessed Mother suffered when she watched Jesus die on the cross.  I started to feel the unworthiness set in again…”God, these women were fearless in their love for you, how do I paint fearless love?”  His answer, “you can’t, but I can.”

A story about St. Perpetua that really touched my heart was her response to her pagan father when he tried to get her to renounce her Christianity. Pointing to a water jug, she asked her father, “See that pot lying there? Can you call it by any other name than what it is? “Her father answered, “Of course not.” Perpetua responded, “Neither can I call myself by any other name than what I am a Christian.” I love this Holy Spirit confidence! She knows what she is up against and she calls it like it is, very simply, I am a Christian. This is why, in the painting, I had to paint that water jug, which also symbolizes that she was newly baptized.  You can learn more about these Saints here.

I was spending some time in prayer about a week after I completed the painting and felt God’s voice tell me to be still. I sat and my eyes settled upon the painting of these Saints and I notice for the first time their halos, and how they intertwined. Why had I painted that, I asked. God’s response, and I’m so not kidding, ” Google it.” Going to my computer I discover that this symbol was called Vesica Pisces or Jesus fish and in present time is used to promote Christianity but in the original meaning it was used to depict the womb of Mary and the coming together of heaven and earth though Jesus. As I am reading this, tears fill my eyes. How amazing it feels to be used by God! The richness of His love is unchanging and it moves people to love fearlessly.

I have Holy Cards available of St. Perpetua and Felicity and on the back of the card, a prayer I wrote:

Here are some photos that show how my painting process happens.