Just Chillin’
Being a parent for the last 19 years has taught me a TON about stress! But not in the way that you may think. Sure, being a parent is an overwhelming job sometimes, as the responsibilities of parenting and meeting the different needs of your children can be very hard to navigate. But, im a half glass full kinda girl and my outlook on situations is fairly optimistic. Not that I never feel stress, it’s just that I rarely feel it in such a way that causes me to become fixated or over run by it. Then my sweet daughter came along. This girl is smart, caring, creative and sensitive…and she’s also plagued by debilitating stress sometimes. She becomes anxious and often times can’t see beyond the challenge she’s facing. She’s the kid who after 3 days of vacation is ready to get home and into her own room. As I mom, I have said things like, “it’s no big deal”, “attitude is everything”, and the worst one… “suck it up!”. UGH! I wish I could get a re-do on some of those moments, but I can’t. Because of this dear sweet soul, I have learned that stress and anxiety is something that MANY children struggle with. Sometimes it’s due to overtaxed schedules, trauma of some kind, disorder, worldly influences (peer pressure, technology), academic pressures, over achievers who put too much pressure on themselves… the list doesn’t stop! Sometimes, they are just sensitive souls living in a suffering world and it scares them. Whatever the reason, I learned the hard way to acknowledge the stress and hold their hands in moving on. One of the mistakes I made would be to put my daughter in “time out”, leaving her to further fixate on her fears and stress. I just didn’t understand and 19 yrs ago “stressed out kids” was a joke. In her pre-teen and mid- teen days, we tried to get her counseling and that always left us with the question, “should we medicate?” Our answer was no, though I have to say that was our personal choice and every family has to discern what is right for them. Im not against meds and understand that often times they are needed and necessary for healing. What I’ve found, is when a child suffers from anxiety it shows up masked as other behavioral issues because a child doesn’t have the words to express how they are feeling.
So, this month enters St Pio! Among other things, St. Pio is the patron Saint of anxiety and since this topic is near and dear to my heart, I was excited to offer a creative option to children who may deal with stress and anxiety. Even if this is not an on-going issue, the back to school season always brings with it a fair share of stressed out families.
While looking for some good ideas in helping children handle stress, I came across this idea of a stress box. Teachers and educators are using this as another option for time-out and helping a child to re-group. I think it’s a loving and caring way to help a child self correct which builds self esteem.
So, here’s my little chill out box!
Items in the box include: prayer cards, a harmonica, a favorite stuffed animal, a looking glass ( fun to explore with ), a bouncy ball, a photo of a the child as a baby ( oh see how you’ve grown!) , gratitude journal, a rosary and a favorite picture book. Some other ideas I love are essential oils, rubrics cube puzzle, your pet, and chewing gum.
The idea of a chill box is that when I child (or adult) is feeling overwhelmed or anxious, they step back, take a brake to self comfort, by doing things that help them to feel peace and relaxation. A timer is a good idea so that a child doesn’t use this as a way to isolate and after the timer goes off, a conversation with the child is important so that they can learn how to articulate their feelings. Stress or worry boxes can also be effective for kiddos who deal with PTSD, sensory and anger issues.
Here are a few great resources I came across that may help you and your child prepare their box.
https://www.andnextcomesl.com/2016/04/what-to-put-in-a-calm-down-kit-for-kids.html
Having a child who suffers from anxiety is a great lesson for me in patience, compassion, perseverance and radical trust. I have many people in my life who deal with chronic anxiety and I have seen how this can led to physical issues down the road. St. Pio is really a Saint for such a time as this! Call on him to intercede and allow him to guide you to people who can help, places of healing, and radical prayers of trust and joy. God Bless you.